Is My Barbell Ring To Short

One afternoon at the movies

In June 1988 I started working at a company located reform in the district of Pilar. The salary was more than twice what I was making at my previous job, but the conditions were, ultimately, far tougher. Firstly, I finished cushy to go to work by subway. At that area had not stopped, and from my house was all a pilgrimage to Mecca take the bus to get to the office, so I had no choice but to pull the car all day.

My job change also coincided with a grip on the advertising agency where she worked Pilar. We reached a point where we hardly saw each weekday. I came home tired, and she was the same. From time to time took out "forces of openness, "as our friend, and did everything possible to see us, well about me to the Agency if someday, those coincidences of life, coming out soon, or approaching it to barrio del Pilar, if which time it was pouring through it. In the latter case, we used to drink in one of the few bars that were in the area, well away from the trough, we told our hardships, and then took her home.

Our weekends were basically quiet. We had begun to distance ourselves a bit of common group of friends, who called only once in a while. It is curious how comfortable We have always found Pilar and I were alone, in our daily living and travel. Not that we left alone at times because we did not have anyone to share the output, is that sometimes even apañábamos to us from the beginning to be so. We had a more direct and frequent contact with a partner who shared a friendship with Pilar from many years ago: Felipe and Luis. Fondly remember many Saturday afternoons spent at his home in Moratalaz, before they went to live in Tres Cantos, filled with table games, music, and food purchased in stores in the area. Sometimes we even got together with my sister, my brother or my cousins, sometimes with Montse and Javier ... The home of Luis and Felipe was a perfect meeting place, which gave us the wee hours of the morning chatting about the divine and human, travel past, present and future, and anything else that we put to shot. The relationship with Montse and Javier eventually deteriorate gradually, reaching have virtually no contact, in part because everyone was living their life and their relationship in different ways, and largely also because the distance and working conditions, both Pilar as mine, we printed a certain amount of laziness to the four that ended distancing. Sometimes I thought it could also happen that Pilar much as I needed to enjoy our relationship in solitude, something quite difficult to achieve when one is immersed in a group of friends. I think it's a law of life that in any group, where couples have been formed for the group eventually disintegrate, as if it had fulfilled its mission of evangelization, so to speak.

Needless to say my group of friends had gone down, gradually, our life. I think that is also a law of life, unchanging and enduring: the friends that remain are usually always the girl, and if anything, a friend, usually without girlfriend, and very, very intimate, the boy. That was the case of John Antonio, my cousin and lifelong friend, and Maise, his girlfriend at the time. Juan Antonio had met Pilar in San Mateo, the famous day of the first date and a day later in which Pilar and I had gone to that place for a drink. We had not had occasion to meet for a drink, watch movies and spend the afternoon together. I remember with particular fondness an afternoon of Saturday, in which Juan Antonio, or fought in San Mateo, or came later. We agreed to meet in front of the cinema Gran Via, in the first session to see a movie that was release, and had brought a revolution in mixing real picture animated picture, which still represented a step forward technically impressive at the time. It was "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" I remember like it was yesterday. Pilar picked up at home. Remember to dress she was wearing dark blue, one of the most liked. We

the official presentation at the box office, film, removing the entry for the film. Kisses for Juan Antonio and Maise, kisses to Pilar, and get to see the movie. Pilar sat beside me and beside Maise, more or less in line eight or nine of the stalls. We exchanged a few sentences before lights out, and started the movie.

Well, folks: I swear, before completion of the credits, good Pilar closed her eyes, rested her head on my shoulder, and slept like a log, literally. Incredible, but true. Juan Antonio and Maise watching us, looking to be saying "what the hell do Pilar sleeping with a movie so wonderful?". The truth is that Pilar was not ever know if the movie was good or not, it just did not wake up until the end. Not heard anything, good woman. An entry, which fortunately at that time were not as expensive as today, literally thrown away.

That afternoon I learned two things about the hobby of Pilar cinema: first, that ever was to take under any circumstances, the session of the meeting four or ten, and the second, which could fall pikes peak, open land or down a storm lava rocks, if Pilar had good sleep, sleep, caught him where he was caught. We went to the movies much, much, rather, because we were both big fans, and we knew instill that love of Sergio (although the first time that the movies were the three was a disaster, as I tell you in due course) but always at seven, or as much, at eight o'clock. Above or below this time, Pilar became a sort of Icarus falling asleep, no matter how uncomfortable it was the chair.

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The wanderlust

One of the most important features of personality Pilar was the passion he felt before the trip, were the type that would, longer or shorter, to places far and near . I enjoyed both the preparations and the journey itself. It was a worthy disciple of Cavafy, in one of his poems we should enjoy the ride, the route to follow to reach your destination.

Before meeting her, I just had gone abroad in connection with a weekend trip at the end COU course. A London to be exact. In that sense, she had an advantage abysmal. Pilar had been in England, living in the heart of a British family for nearly a month with her friend Montse. He had traveled to Denmark, Holland, Yugoslavia, France, and many other countries of Europe which kept a lasting memory. Pilar was saddened when the madness broke out in Yugoslavia, with that "ethnic cleansing" that cost so many lives. She had been in Mostar, a city which kept a fond memory, and could not watch the news, which appeared the old bridge in the city, bomb-shattered base. When he returned from Yugoslavia, home photo developing Pilar played him a move disastrous: he watched three of the four reels that had been spent. Luckily, he also brought countless postcards and books in the area, among which include four photographs of old Mostar, we hold on today's framed in the living room.

Pilar was almost always a ritual unique to organize the trips. Began by choosing the area to visit, as is expected, and then inquired by all means at our disposal, through travel agencies when there was no Internet, and through this medium after, to get reliable and current photographs of the hotel in which we would be staying during our stay at the place to be. She was always searching, comparing the prices, which offered the route to follow, unless it were to maintain a road run, in which case it was I who organized the various stops, depending on the distance traveled and what they had to do in each. From the moment that came the idea of \u200b\u200btravel, a couple of times or more each year, Pilar enjoyed the preparations. If we were to visit was a mountain, handled properly barricaded, gloves, jackets and footwear. If the issue was going to a beach resort, swimwear, light clothing and all kinds of floats, especially in the infancy phase Sergio. He always knew exactly what to wear each site, and reported even the time we would do.

was a pleasure to go with his experience in traveling, but especially for their enthusiasm. Both Sergio and I, like others who have joined us at times, have learned to travel through it. Thanks to her, the greatest pleasure we feel, is to prepare a case and let it go for the adventure of new places. They say that traveling is open to one's mind, and I can assure that a statement is absolutely true. If to this we add also the facilities that today provides Internet for so rewarding task we will draw in conclusion, to have more time to do so, we would be traveling constantly.

Pilar told me his passion for travel very soon after you start dating. Enthusiastically put it, that ultimately catch it that bug that has never left me since. As I told above, my only trip was to London, and is not much I found out, among other reasons because the feral when we were subjected my friends and I drove us to spend much of the week enclosed the four walls of the hotel, drinking, smoking and playing cards. To give you an idea of \u200b\u200bthe pathos of that trip I will tell you that one night we stayed to watch the Eurovision Song Contest in one of the halls of the hotel, and coincided with the time that, good Betty Misiego, stole his first since the quixotic English voters. I remember there was on our side an English couple who literally Descojonado our chivalry. With that I say everything about that trip.

was a matter of days Pilar organize what would be our first trip abroad. He thought he could spend a week in early summer, in Palma de Mallorca. It did not seem too bad, because neither she nor I knew, so the machinery Pilar was launched and before it was willing I knew it had booked flights, hotel, and even the rental car. I had no problem to take holidays on the dates that she had prepared, so we were left with nothing but wait for such an important occasion.

made plans on how well we were going to happen in Mallorca, on how happy we would be in the hotel, and the bathrooms were going to hit us on the beach of Es Trench, which at that time already knew, thanks to books and guides that Pilar was busily engaged in collecting so as always, it was one of the most famous of the island. The idea was to rent a car for the first four days, Valldemossa the beating visiting us, Inca, the beach Calobra, Manacor and other landmarks, and spend the last three days lying flat on one foot in the hotel pool, which had a monumental painting on the photographs. Pilar had hired a half-board, so you only have to worry about the midday meal.

In those we were, enjoying a week in advance that we would serve inter alia to check the quality of our living together, when my good friend Juan, surveyor like me, phoned me for me over to do an interview working in the company where he worked. That occurred more or less in June 1988, very little before the summer. This was to change company with a salary of more than twice what I was making at that time. I did the interview and caught me.

I remember the afternoon when Pilar told him I had hired a new firm. We were in the car around the streets Anastrepha, I guess about to get off to go to Elke's, the Yuppi or other den of iniquity of which we used to frequent. I told him the conditions, salary, excellent as I'd like the job, schedule, etc. Pilar heard me excited, with a gleam of happiness in her eyes. A glow that was erased when le dije que, debido a que acababa de entrar, no tenía todavía derecho a vacaciones, y que, por tanto, había que anular lo del viaje a Palma de Mallorca.

He visto en muy pocas ocasiones triste a Pilar, y os aseguro que aquella ocasión fue la primera, y una de las peores. Sin poderlo evitar, soltó unas lágrimas, apenada por tener que anular el viaje. La vi tan desconsolada, que le dije que no, que no me cambiaba de empresa, que no se preocupara, que ya habría más ocasiones, y que lo importante era nuestro viaje. En una de aquellas reacciones serenas que tanto he valorado durante todos estos años, Pilar dejó de llorar, se secó las lágrimas, y me dijo, con seriedad, que no dijera nonsense, I could not miss an opportunity like the one I had submitted. He smiled again, I expressed his happiness with a kiss, and went to celebrate my job better that night.

Our first trip, our first time to be alone together, had been canceled, but many others would come. Over the years we went to Palma de Mallorca, modeled on a trip we planned for that first occasion. But that, friends, is another entry.

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The start of something serious

I guess most people like something happens what happened to us Pilar and me about six or seven months into our relationship. Once the first phase, the initial rapture, of that nonsense, which made people stare at us in the subway or the bus while prodigábamos us our daily ration of pampering, and maintaining all newly-minted couple the world, whether of race they are, and are of the belief that they are, things seem more or less back to normal.

We no longer saw every day, I guess also because tiredness to be both working full time, was imposed on the cloud on which the two had been engaged in recent months. We started to get one day every other, or something. We were looking forward, but the fact is that, at least on my part, remoteness also began to take its toll. I was certain laziness Pilar carry home and back to mine, the late night to bed and early the next day for work. I know that was selfish on my part, but until I met Pilar, my relationships have always been a real mess, with all due respect to the girls I left. In this case, it is true the phrase that titles this film in Argentina, "no sos vos, soy yo". I recognize that the pre-Pilar sentimental phase of my life was more marked by routine or sexual attraction, which for a true feeling of love.

I stopped going out with the girl Pilar preceding six months after starting the relationship, for one reason most miserable: he lived in a village on the road to La Coruna, and I was real lazy to take the bus every Saturday to go see it. Every Saturday, because we did not even intend to see us on weekdays. So crude and so sad, folks. There came a time when every Saturday excuse me for not going, saying outlandish reasons of study or otherwise. By then I had no car, and she was not quite ready to come to Madrid. In fact, I think she was more laziness come to Madrid to visit me in her village, but that was no reason to leave the relationship. The fact is that when they had more or less three weeks giving excuses for not going to see it, I thought I was doing the jerk, which would be more noble for me to confess that I was too lazy to continue with us. On the fourth Saturday stay, I told him what happened to me, and let out.

With Pilar I thought something similar. I think it has something to do with my way of being, quite strange when compared to the lifestyle of most people. In my case, it has to do with the love of my solitude. I have never found uncomfortable about having to spend a weekend without leaving. Something will have to do with the amount of times I've had to stay home as a matter of study. This pleasure to my solitude helped me at the stage where she worked outside Madrid, and married to Pilar. He preferred to go home at the end of the workday, and enjoy a good book, a good movie or just skulking on the couch with the idiot box on, before going to bars with companions.

Anyway, I am nothing gregarious, unless I wanted to keep the friendship or simple contact with one or at most two people in a group or cultural affinities or sentimental. Now that I think, must Pilar something similar happen, because we have almost never held a large group of friends, removing the outputs we did from time to time with the parents of Sergio classmates. We felt much more comfortable with few people, one or two pairs at most. Each time a family event brought us together in a pack, we managed to match we had the most affinity. Nothing fancy, I think, but I also know many people who love the bullanga, and join the revelry with many people. It was not our case, I assure you.

Without really knowing why, and no doubt influenced by my pathetic emotional state, I began to sense that what began bored. The problem was that on this occasion, I had come across someone who really worth it.

One Saturday I was tired, and more eager to stay home than go out, I called to cancel the appointment Pilar we agreed on Friday. Accepted without much enthusiasm on his part, but the case is accepted. After seeing each other for a couple of days next week, arrived Saturday and I made up another excuse to stay at home lounging.

But this time, friends, good Pilar refused.

And not only refused, but I let out a string of accusations that made me feel worm by first time in my life. In its tone, softly, without looking at all the voice, called me everything but pretty. I think I've ever had a conversation with anyone so hard in my life, even in my work place in the tough talks are the order of the day. I listened without knowing what to say because he had no arguments to refute anything that Pilar was saying. By summarizing some philosophy of what we talked about (of which she spoke, rather, because I just let me say "yes, it's true" from time to time), I will tell you who made me see that he could not play with a person of how he was doing me a couple of weeks here, more or less. What to play, I bought a monkey, and I forget it if he continued down that path.

When you hang up, in addition to the host that he had received verbal and headache and arm that I had (imagine a conversation in full voltage of more than half hour), I felt, as a kind of flash , for the first time in my life I had met a woman I liked, but I really liked, at all levels, able to laugh when it came to laugh, and take a fight that you shit, no move a tab, when the issue was that. Pilar showed me, with a simple telephone call, which respected sincerity above all, and if because of that honesty had to break his relationship with me, I would not hesitate for a moment.

I began to respect it. Still in love, but also respected. I do not know if I understand what I'm trying to say. Many relationships are based on custom, or even, in many cases, the dependence of one to the other. "Is that so and so, or twinkie is a disaster", you will have heard thousands of times. Often found little respect in many relationships, and I am convinced that, in our case, the respect that began Saturday afternoon, where I intended to wriggle giving an absurd excuse. The flattery, stuffed animals, the kisses and the little red hearts floating in the air gave way to a much more serious, deeper and more intense by two. We started to intimate with him, to know us as people, with our weaknesses, our greatness and our miseries. For the first time discovered the maturity, the importance of a real relationship. Pilar seemed so arrogant, so sincere in that moment of pain for me, I knew I was the person I wanted to share the rest of my life. So simple, so simple.

Needless to say, that Saturday I dressed quickly and ran to her, confident that he had started something really seriously.

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Psicocine - Dokusho Villalba: Archaic Techniques of trance and meditation zen


The practice of Zen meditation in the lotus posture is earlier the historical Buddha, Sakyamuni Buddha, who lived in northern India in the V century before the Common Era. Shakyamuni taught the practice of ascetics or Sramanas . The Sramanas were seekers of truth who had given up social life and organized religion to indulge in various forms of insights favored by archaic techniques of ecstasy or mystic rapture. Although there were many techniques as Sramanas, meditation in the sitting position, torso upright and internalized attention enjoyed a widespread commitment and tradition of practice probably goes back to a time before the Aryan invasions and therefore the Hinduism. A clue to what I say is found in the same term sramana. Not sure of the origin and antiquity of the term. Experts agree that Sanskrit sramana led to the Chinese word scha-men (containing the verb scha 'know'). Schama would be 'wise', 'who knows'. The Chinese word gave rise to the term tungu saman, and this at the end of Manchu-tungu xaman , the Russians became shaman. The shaman was the central figure of the oldest religion of mankind, shamanism, whose origins date back to hunter-gatherers. In Japanese, the term appears as Shamoun, and refers to Buddhist monks who choose to practice away from the urban and institutionalized religion.
Sakyamuni taught meditation or dhyana Sramanas with different teachers, receiving from them knowledge and technical instructions that had been passed from generation to generation for thousands of years. Over six years, Gautama practiced dhyana and different techniques ascetic, fasting and mortification. Finally, he decided to just sit in meditation and improve their mastery of the different levels of dhyana. However, what really led to the ultimate experience of enlightenment were not only different degrees of dhyana, but a new discovery whose implementation would be critical to their completion: the use of dhyana states as platforms for lucid observation.
So there is a deep and close relationship between the archaic techniques of trance, like Eliade calls and the practice of meditation as technical means to access higher states of consciousness or expanded.

Dokusho Villaba (Utrecht, 1956) is the first Soto Zen master English history. Disciple of the Very Venerable Taisen Deshimaru Roshi, from whom he received Soto Zen monk ordination in 1978 in Paris and studied under whose direction the Zen until his death, and the Very Venerable Shuyu Narita Roshi, abbot of the Temple Todenji in the northern province of Akita, Japan, who in 1987 received Transmission Dharma.

After several years of practice, study Japanese in the main monasteries, the authorities of the Soto Zen Japanese recognize it as kaigaikyoshi, or teacher of Dharma.



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